Friday, October 06, 2006
Tonight I sat on my swing and had a barrel fire under the full moon. It would have been nicer if the temp was 48 but it was 78! I sat and fed my sick chicken karo syrup while Diamond danced around.
I took these pix.
I am reviewing my year of injuries, survival and hell.... trying to look forward to the next week of subbing.
Trying to evaluate my life with this unexpungeable criminal record that affects my being hired as a teacher. I am trying to move forward. 9 years ago I got into an altercation with a cop 2 days before my mom died. I was very stressed & emotional. I had nursed her for the whole year and had just got divorced too. He "administered" a strangle hold cos he was not trained in skills to calm me down. He was 23 and an inexperienced asshole trying to get his brownie points. As he choked me I swung my arm out and grazed his face. It wasn't deliberate. Its a normal reaction of "protection". I was scared. He had a 1/2" graze on his face. The police report make me look like a felonious monster.
Sometimes while I am subbing high school, a young person may start to lose it and act out. I tell him (or her) to relax and take deep breaths instead of acting out and getting in trouble. I pay attention. I don't want him or her to end up like me with a degree and a busted career; if it is appropriate, I tell them what happened to me. It may help them.
Well, tomorrow I am off to Truvey's ranch... I will visit with my best friend,
pick more pecans & pray for peace and at least for a menial job so I can pay my mortgage & survive.